Just my thoughts at the moment..

I’m feeling sad. I wonder why do I distance myself from people so much? I look from afar at friends with envy. But I never found a way to join in.. I just can’t seem to get myself to feel comfortable enough around most people. I’m only able to feel slightly more at ease around certain people. But for most, I always felt that we are not close enough. And I feel sad about it. How to bridge that connection between people. When people say they are antisocial, but I see them having fun around people. They don’t understand. LOL I am. Antisocial. I guess. By my standards. Well, I can’t seem to have fun around most people. I just don’t know how to. Yet, I don’t want to be alone. I still wish to hang out.. but I end up feeling like an outsider. And being awkward and I don’t like it. I don’t know how to deal with it so I end up running away. Halfway through a social gathering, I find excuses to get away from the social setup. I feel a sense of relief but also sadness. 

Okay, I don’t want to dismiss those times when I do feel belonged. Things click but then.. it never last. T.T Such is the life of a sad human being. Have a good day! Or good night. It’s night time here. I shall go to bed soon(:

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